I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
