So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
