Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
