she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
