I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
