oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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