we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
