I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
