Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
