im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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