she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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