I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
