Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize