hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize