Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
