actually, I'm a sock model
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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