did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
