batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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