I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
