ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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