Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize