he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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