Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
