somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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