Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
