You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My hand turned me down
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
