Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
