OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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