Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
