Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
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you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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