hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
