jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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