Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
