Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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