help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
