I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
