he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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