she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
