hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
