So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
