do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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