he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
