He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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