return my video game
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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