why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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