he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
