I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
