if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
