That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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