people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
