We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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