He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
