we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
