My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
