I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
