The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
