I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
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We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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