So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
This house was built for laser tag.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
