Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
