I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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