Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Semen is not good for contacts.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
