Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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