Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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