i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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