Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
