Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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