Ambien. No doubt about it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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