I just made out with a guy for $7.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
