Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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