Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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