Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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