remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just want nice things and good sex
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
