Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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