I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The beer is more important than you right now.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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