I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
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